Ok Jeannine, then why haven't you posted? Where have I been?!
Well....sigh.. ok, here goes: I was hired at a job after I got laid off last October, for a place I thought would work out really well for me. It wasn't and didn't. I never got anxiety at a job before and this place gave me an anxiety attack it seemed about every other day. Where I sat for one, was facing a wall. There was no one to talk to all day. You were basically within cubicle walls and left pretty much for dead all day, unless I had a question about what I was doing, then I'd ask one of the other two gals in my department. They never spoke to me otherwise, no one did. Never a hi, how are you, how was your weekend, got any plans, what are you up to, blah blah blah, casual kind of conversation or rather just being friendly kind of talk. Nope. I was by myself all day, most everyday. It was miserable and depressing and after 6 long months, I finally quit. When I got home, I was emotionally done. I'd just want to cry and go to bed. I had no joy. No happiness. No nothing to do anything. I was ok on the weekend sort of but then Sunday night, I'd sink down into misery again knowing I had to go back. So there it is. Me just miserable and feeling emotionally and certainly creatively paralyzed, unable to function while I was working there. I felt like I owed it to myself and my health to leave, end it. I hated giving up the very large paycheck but money isn't everything so I did it with no regrets. It's in the past now thankfully and I can feel myself rising out of the ashes and soon I'll be back to running at 100%. Thank God in heaven it's over!
On the flip side of that though is I'm not working. Yet anyway. I've had some interviews and if I want to drive 2 hours each way and work 50 hours a week, yes I will have another high paying, soul sucking, life draining job. No. NO NO NO! I've discovered that I don't have it in me any longer to do that kind of work. I have a life. I have animals, a farm, a great husband to hang out with, my horses and dogs need my attention, I've got my art, all the things I want to create, places to go. You get the picture. Life is NOT about work! I'll figure out what I'm going to do. Maybe.
What do I WANT to do? I want to move back to snow country and be a ski instructor again or work in the ski industry again. It's my happy place. It's fun, energetic, positive, healthy. It's just a wonderful lifestyle and it's who I am. Moving to TN, I put it on hold thinking, oh you're too old, you'll grow out of it. No, never did and I'm sure I never will. So I'm sort of in the process of figuring out how to make it happen again. That'll be another blog post. Yes, I promise I'll be back soon and update you with any progress on that front!
Back to Fall: This morning I went with a good friend to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and what was on the menu? Pumpkin spice pancakes! Yes, it's that time again for everything cinnamon-y, clove, and whatever else makes up our favorite holiday scent. I didn't have them but I was happy they were back. I'm sure Starbucks has their pumpkin spice lattes back on the menu as well. Yay for Fall!! Hurry and get here!! I love everything about it; the scents (pumpkin spice!), the weather, Halloween, pumpkins on the porch, corn stalks, all of it!
|One of my new painted garden stones - in time for Fall|
|Pumpkin Man - a new sculpt|
|They were so tall!|
|Not full grown but charming with the metal sap bucket|
|A bit of decor in the front garden|
|Herbs: Basil, lavender (2), rosemary (2) and citronella (bugs!)|
The new doggie is named Dolly. She's a full pitbull with the biggest head I've ever seen! She's white and brown and just the sweetest dog ever. I've not heard a growl or seen any type of aggressive posture whatsoever. Just all big tongue and lots of kisses.
|Look at that face!|